dreams I love but want to stop having

Why do I keep have these dreams???? And they are not sex dream, but they are dreams about a wonderful men who love me and only me, and who go out of his way to get me and to make me happy. I mean he chess me Like I am the only woman that will ever matter to him , like he will do anything to get me and love me and make me happy. Like the dream I had tonight, in my dream this man gave up his life to be with me, me! his turned his whole world around to be with Towander, God I felt so loved in that dream. And what is sad about that is. . . . . . I never feel that way in real life. No one has ever loved me like that in my dream, well besides my mom, but no man has ever loved me so completely like that before, and it sad to me. So I wake up at 5 in the morning a little sad in the knowledge that I will never have that in real life. And I wish I could stop having dreams like that so I wont have to wake up to my real life, longing for my dream life.

cheater

Hi, it been a long time but I haven’t really had anything to say, till now. I have to talk this through so please bear with me. Well Friday I decided to go through me mans texts and I read something I wasn’t expecting to read. Some chick had texted him that she loved him and he text her back that he loved her too. I like what the fuck right. So when n=he got home I showed him the text and he gone tell me all his friends (women) texts him that and he tells all of them he loves them too. What the fuck!!!!!! For real!!!!! That shit aint cute. So I say okay well let me call her then since it’s like that. He didn’t know what to do with him self. I call the lady. And she goes on to tell me that she has been with him since May 8th of last year!!!!! So not only have you been cheating on me, but you have been cheating on me for over a year!!!! For real!!!!! Over a year right. She ask me who was I , I said I’m wiffy , she was shocked I told her that he lived with me she said she knew that but she thought we just lived together, but we were not together, what kind of shit is that. How the fuck did she aloud her self to believe that I will never know. Anyway he just set their looking stupid. And know I know what I should do. What I’m suppose to do, what my head is telling me to do. But my heart won’t let me do it. I have been with this man for 100 years!!! Not really but we have been together for 8 going on 9 years. So what do I do??????? He must pay!!!!! He said that it was just talk, but she said he was her man. But rather they talked or fucked a year is a year. How the fuck can you have a relationship with some chick for a year when you are suppose to be mine????? How???? I’ll tell you how, you don’t feel like your mine, I don’t wont a community man, I won’t my man. A man who loves only me, who wants only me, who needs only me. Is that to much to ask??? I don’t think it is. So that’s what I have been dealing with here as of late. No I have ended it with him, but I don’t know if I can go on with him knowing that I can trust him at all right now. Shit I just don’t know.

Hi everyone I have really missed bloging, so what on my mind today. Well I am one year older; my birth day was March 13. The job is good, no major problems there. Home life is ok. Been have some problem with my oldest, not that he is doing something, but some other boy have been fucking with him and we had to get the police invoked. I am praying that we won’t have to deal with any more shit after this. I am so sick of those silly ass kids being like that to my kid, but I’m going to pray through it and lat God handle it. That’s all I can do.
He pasted all of his classes this period so happy I won’t to let him drive the car Sunday, but we have to see how I am feeling. The girl is on the A/B honor roll, happy days. She not having any problem right now, with is great. Now about me . . . . . . . Ya’ll know my mew year’s resolutions were to be happy and get my health in order. Well I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and my test came back bad so they had to do some more test and it can back bad to so now Friday I have to go in to the hospital to have something removed so I will be ok. Am I afraid???? Hell yes, but what ever will be will be, just got to put it in Gods hand and pray that it will be ok.
As for Terrence and I we have our ups and downs but we are in a good place right now. My mom is good. And so is my dad I guest, haven’t talked to him in a while, but no news is good new right.

OOOOOOOOOOOH happy days the state have started hitting up Royce Jr. for child support!!! Good good good so happy there taken 340.40 out of his check every month, that is till he run out of unemployment. (That’s a hole nother subject though, lol, maybe I will blogg about that some other time) but yeap he has to pay now.

Guest that’s it, talk to ya’ll later :o) hugs and kisses

Oboma

What on my mind you may ask , well let me tell you ! We have a Black President !!!!!!!!! I really never thought I would ever live to see it . Ok now that the history making part of it right. . . . . . But over and be on him being a black man in the white house he is just a another man in the white house . Will he do all of the thing he said he would do ??? I don’t know. I have learned that people in this live will do anything and say anything to get what they want. Could that be true of him too , yes it could . He wanted to be President, despite the fact that only a year before he said he would run , he said that was not what he wanted at all. But we can change our minds right ? Witch led me to what I am saying, he talked a good , no a great talk!!! And he got the votes . And now he is in there. Will he do all the things he said he would do , will he ?? I don’t know. Only time will tell. This place we live in , these united state are in trouble , and black red yellow or green . We need to have the person in there to make the right decisions. Is he that person???? God I hope so.

:o)

I'm so sick of this shit !!!! I am trying to be happy in 09 but it is harder then you would think . when you have to put up with other bull shit in yo life . but lord I am so tire of all of the bull shit . I just found some women undees in my house that are not mine!!!!!! I did buy them and I can't fit them , so what are they doing in my house you may ask. . . . . will I don't fucking know !!!! I asked my old man about it he said he don't know he didn't bring them in here ........ no one has been here washing their fucking clothe so again why are they here in my house . I am trying to give him the benefit of the tought but hell I don't know!!!!!! so my girl friend gave my kids some of her kids old clothe could the undees have came in my house with that , maybe. . . . . . I didn't look thought bags so I guest that's where it could have came from , but again I don't know .It just don't feel right to me.... shit!!!!!!! if I ask the chick if she sent them over here she not going to remember, cause I know if she sent them here she didn't Menes to so it make no seance to even ask her. so I just will never know. . . . . . .I hate not knowing !!!! hate it hate it hate it !!!!!!!